I have a problem. Why do we let words define us? Words have so much power in society that it is frightening, and sickening. I have found, throughout my life, that words can be huge tools of oppression. People who are classifies under a particular word can be constrained by it, limited by it, discriminated against, and diminished because of it. It can even be a source of unnecessary pain and unhappiness that some good people just don't deserve (which is what has fueled my incredibly random post tonight).
Take marriage, for example; to society in general, doesn't a relationship mean more with the title of "marriage" attached to it? When a couple who is married "breaks up," even when there weren't any children involved, it is viewed as more significant because it was a marriage. A perfectly happy couple will be at odds with each other over the idea of marriage, and even the planning of marriage. Couples worry about what it means if they decide not to get married. Why? What for?
Now, I understand that people get married because they love each other and because they want to be "husband" and "wife," but aren't those just words too? (I'm not saying that all people get married as a status symbol, but I feel people, these days, have forgotten why they go through the trouble of being "married.") Marriage has been a status symbol since the days fathers sold their virgin daughters off to men for property, and a status symbol is not love. Marriage is a legally binding union between two people, but it doesn't mean that you loved each other any less before you got married, right? If it means so much, then why does society practically put a time constraint on when you do it, if it is so important?
I define my decisions, my relationships, and my life by my own definitions, my own standards, and own rules, but that doesn't mean that I'm not tormented by other's perceptions of those decisions, especially when my decisions are perceived negatively by those I love. I could understand the argument, that marriage implies that a couple is mature and stable, but these days that isn't always the case, is it? How many marriages end in divorce, and how many babies were born last year alone to "single" parents? A boat load!!! So, how can we define marriage by the same standards anymore? We are even afraid of the institution of marriage losing its social status and significance because gay people want to get married. (I don't know any other reason for people disagreeing with it, so that is what I chalk it up to, you can disagree with me.) Once again, WHO CARES?!?! If I get married, it doesn't mean anything less just because two guys or two girls go get married! So, what's the big deal?
When I start to question the society we live in, I'm reminded of symbolic interactionism. Symbolic interactionism is an approach (founded by George Herbert Mead, although a lot of credit also goes to Blumer for the interactionist approach-fyi) that says that our society is a reflection of the meaning we assign to words through our interaction with each other. This means, that it is our collective faults! There are words and symbols used in our society that unjustly classify people, and we did it to ourselves, or at least the majority did. Why do we limit ourselves to the careless use of words and symbols? Why do we think things are as simple as we see them? I hate using the word "we," because I certainly don't try to fit into the category of narrow-minded people with whom I am referring, and all people are certainly not like this. I say "we" because I am simply disgusted with people (and there seems to be a lot of them) who refuse to look beyond a first impression, or an outer appearance, and I'm sick of people who look at status! Get over yourself!!! If you can't stand on your own two feet in your life without knocking someone else down than you deserve to fall! I haven't met a single person in my life that wasn't worth meeting no matter what color their skin was or how much money they had. I have found that there is something to learn from every person I meet. People are not always what your first instinct tells you, and they are not as generic as a first impression. They are people; whether they have brown skin, white skin, speak a different language, or dress different than we do.
The same goes with concerns some have with people coming to this country-we call them "illegals," or "illegal aliens." This implies meaning (seriously damaging meaning for many). It implies that they are criminals. They may be breaking a law, but I've broken laws; I've run stop signs, stolen a towel from a hotel, and I've probably trespassed into someones yard at some point in my life, but do those things qualify me as an "illegal?" My crimes were far less justifiable than escaping my home country to better the lives of my family members. How can you blame them? I can't. I admire them. They, to me, are not drug dealers, and criminals, or lazy workers, they are families, and fathers, trying to provide a life for their loved ones. That isn't to say that there aren't bad people in the world, but the bad people are of all different colors, some rich, some poor, some young, some old, etc.
The guilty person is the someone that is out there generalizing and classifying good people to death; and for what purpose? I'm betting it has to do with status, but I wont even get into it because I'll be at my computer all night, and I have to make dinner. I guess my rant is all about the fact that people are people, and they don't always fit so easily into a title, a word, or symbol. People can be single, married, gay, straight, and they can certainly be different from you or me. They can have different beliefs and values, but does that make them any worse or any better? Isn't there more to it than just the words we hold people under? Aren't we all people? Just do me one favor, for me, judge people you know, not those you don't. We are all people, doing what we know to survive this life we were given. Can't we learn to think less categorically and more humanely?
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