This article reminded me of my problem with the pressure some women feel from their social clock. American women are lucky to have choices. It is difficult to ignore the social norms, the majority, the pressure to fit into the status quo, but we have to remember that the decisions we feel so rushed to make are the most important decisions of our lives. Do what feels right for you, and do it at your own pace, choose your partner wisely, and don't take your right to choose the life you live for granted. Not every women gets to choose.
Teenage girls in Afghanistan are lighting themselves on fire to escape their arranged marriages. They are married off as young as eleven years old and to men who are twenty-some years their senior. They enter those homes viewed as no different then a mop. They are meant to cook, clean, and make babies and are often abused for failing to meet expectations in their domestic duties. How horrible can these poor women feel that they are compelled to dump flamable liquid on themselves, light it, and suffer third degree burns, or death to get out of these situations. For the lucky few that survive, they may be allowed to go back to their families, and if they do (since they aren't able to be married off anymore) they may be lucky enough to learn to read and attend school, but not many of these girls are surviving.
For the sake of women who would rather burn to death then endure the pain of being forced to live a life of abuse and indifference, throw that clock out, do what is in your heart, and make your own rules to live by.
http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/10/29/2112069.aspx
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Is This Really News?
Is this what we call news? Take another cheap stab at Obama you losers! Get your facts straight too! He played golf with women on the campaign trail f.y.i. If the president wants to take time out and play golf or basketball with the boys he should be able to without it bringing up questions about a "grass ceiling." Find real news to talk about! I don't think him NOT being in the company of women in his free time is a bad thing, and I don't see it calling his character into question either. People just keep digging for new things to complain about with this president. What a bunch of losers! Stop complaining about the "boys club" in the White House, its not like there has ever been a women president anyway. How could it NOT be a boys club? He's appointed more women than any other president before him, so where was the ammunition for this accusation in the first place? How about some responsible reporting people! You're right Obama, this is "bunk!"
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Who Is To Blame?
Are Power Struggles Ruining Your Relationship? By Nicole Yorio
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=22024559>1=32023
This article caught my eye this afternoon while my daughter was napping and I can't help but write about it now. In a nutshell, it is about how "You (the woman) plan the vacations, call the plumber, get a gift for your mother-in-law's birthday, and bring in the car for repairs. His idea of helping: staying out of your way. This unbalanced picture can leave you both feeling resentful. Here, how to break up the pattern." Well, thank God there is someone out there that cares enough to help you fix your lazy husband! Just kidding-the article is about how YOU are the one to blame!!!
My problem with this is the fact that no woman should be to blame for being a "superior wife" suffering from "superior wife syndrome." Apparently if you take on most of the responsibility in your household then you are not only to blame for having that responsibility, but you are also responsible for any feelings of resentment you may have, any issues in the bedroom you may have, and the unfulfillment that you or your husband may feel in the relationship. Not to mention, for the majority of us control sucking wives it didn't start that way, WE made it that way. Well, if that doesn't make unhappy women want to jump of a flippin' bridge, I don't know what would?! If you are unhappily doing all of the chores in your house, taking care of the finances, scheduling the appointments, planning the vacations, changing the diapers, and doing all of the cleaning, apparently you should bend over and kick yourself right in your own a-- for it! This article even goes on to describe how you should go about babying your husband back into participating in the family responsibilities. You should hold his hand through the process, apparently, so that he is eased into it and still feels good about himself as he starts to take on some of the work.
Well, can I say, I'm not about to wipe any man's a--! If a man in my life were this much of a piece of garbage, I'd leave. If he can't step up and take care of business, he doesn't belong in MY bedroom, that's for sure! What a joke. No REAL man just sits back and watches his wife do all of the work, and if he does he probably does have problems in the S-E-X department because no REAL woman wants to crawl in bed with that! My advice, tell him "Step up and get the job done or don't let the door hit you on the way out!" You are only to blame if you sit and put up with a lazy spouse. If a woman walks around complaining and unhappy because she does all of the work, then fine, she's an idiot, but there are two people in a marriage and I don't agree with the idea that it is a woman's fault for taking care of business. That doesn't mean that a man should stop helping all together, it doesn't mean he should opt out of family responsibilities, and he definitely should not take it as a cue to sit back and relax. If your woman does all the work, do you know what that makes you? I try to keep this decent so I wont even use that word, but I bet you all know what I want to say, and it starts with a "p." Man UP!
Every relationship should have a balance, that much is true. You have to share the responsibilities in order to respect each other. I can't argue that a relationship would suffer under the conditions described in this article, but instead of telling a woman to further take charge by training her husband like a dog with instructions and rewards, I recommend taking a look at how much he respects you. If a man respects a woman, he will do those things without you requesting them, without a honey-do list, and without bribing him with sex.
A woman in this situation doesn't need to give up control, she needs to find a man equal to her, and ditch the one she's with! It sounds to me, like the woman who wrote this article needed to compliment herself and her problem by making an excuse. Her excuse is that women are better at multi-tasking, and they are more efficient. It doesn't make sense to me that she compliments our gender and then goes on to say that some women are just power hungry, and according to the psychologist, Carin Reubenstein, she quoted in her article, "women get a thrill from being so indispensable." If the only thrill you're getting in your relationship is from feeling like your partner couldn't live without your cooking, cleaning, and organizational skills, that isn't love, move the hell out! You can do better; you're not his mother, you're his wife, and it is not up to you to train him!
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=22024559>1=32023
This article caught my eye this afternoon while my daughter was napping and I can't help but write about it now. In a nutshell, it is about how "You (the woman) plan the vacations, call the plumber, get a gift for your mother-in-law's birthday, and bring in the car for repairs. His idea of helping: staying out of your way. This unbalanced picture can leave you both feeling resentful. Here, how to break up the pattern." Well, thank God there is someone out there that cares enough to help you fix your lazy husband! Just kidding-the article is about how YOU are the one to blame!!!
My problem with this is the fact that no woman should be to blame for being a "superior wife" suffering from "superior wife syndrome." Apparently if you take on most of the responsibility in your household then you are not only to blame for having that responsibility, but you are also responsible for any feelings of resentment you may have, any issues in the bedroom you may have, and the unfulfillment that you or your husband may feel in the relationship. Not to mention, for the majority of us control sucking wives it didn't start that way, WE made it that way. Well, if that doesn't make unhappy women want to jump of a flippin' bridge, I don't know what would?! If you are unhappily doing all of the chores in your house, taking care of the finances, scheduling the appointments, planning the vacations, changing the diapers, and doing all of the cleaning, apparently you should bend over and kick yourself right in your own a-- for it! This article even goes on to describe how you should go about babying your husband back into participating in the family responsibilities. You should hold his hand through the process, apparently, so that he is eased into it and still feels good about himself as he starts to take on some of the work.
Well, can I say, I'm not about to wipe any man's a--! If a man in my life were this much of a piece of garbage, I'd leave. If he can't step up and take care of business, he doesn't belong in MY bedroom, that's for sure! What a joke. No REAL man just sits back and watches his wife do all of the work, and if he does he probably does have problems in the S-E-X department because no REAL woman wants to crawl in bed with that! My advice, tell him "Step up and get the job done or don't let the door hit you on the way out!" You are only to blame if you sit and put up with a lazy spouse. If a woman walks around complaining and unhappy because she does all of the work, then fine, she's an idiot, but there are two people in a marriage and I don't agree with the idea that it is a woman's fault for taking care of business. That doesn't mean that a man should stop helping all together, it doesn't mean he should opt out of family responsibilities, and he definitely should not take it as a cue to sit back and relax. If your woman does all the work, do you know what that makes you? I try to keep this decent so I wont even use that word, but I bet you all know what I want to say, and it starts with a "p." Man UP!
Every relationship should have a balance, that much is true. You have to share the responsibilities in order to respect each other. I can't argue that a relationship would suffer under the conditions described in this article, but instead of telling a woman to further take charge by training her husband like a dog with instructions and rewards, I recommend taking a look at how much he respects you. If a man respects a woman, he will do those things without you requesting them, without a honey-do list, and without bribing him with sex.
A woman in this situation doesn't need to give up control, she needs to find a man equal to her, and ditch the one she's with! It sounds to me, like the woman who wrote this article needed to compliment herself and her problem by making an excuse. Her excuse is that women are better at multi-tasking, and they are more efficient. It doesn't make sense to me that she compliments our gender and then goes on to say that some women are just power hungry, and according to the psychologist, Carin Reubenstein, she quoted in her article, "women get a thrill from being so indispensable." If the only thrill you're getting in your relationship is from feeling like your partner couldn't live without your cooking, cleaning, and organizational skills, that isn't love, move the hell out! You can do better; you're not his mother, you're his wife, and it is not up to you to train him!
Friday, October 23, 2009
My Daughter & Some of Her Firsts
This is Lucia. She'll be 2 on Halloween!
EVERYTHING!
She thinks EVERYTHING is funny!
EVERYTHING!
She had her first sleepover on New Years 08-09
She took her first steps
when she was 8 months old.
Before that, she loved to suck her toes...
All the time!
My Family Website
I've been experimenting with website building since this past summer, and I thought I'd share my family website with you. Its a work in progress. After our second computer crashed I thought I would put some of the pictures we were able to recover on a website in case it happens again-there aren't that many on this site yet, but at least you can meet some of my family. Here it is: http://julescassielucia.yolasite.com/
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I Need A Vacation!
I was dreaming about traveling last night
so I thought today I would share with you
some of the places I'd like to visit.
some of the places I'd like to visit.
Bunol, Spain's Tomatina Festival
The Hot Springs at Volcan Areval in Costa Rica
http://photos.igougo.com/pictures-photos-p297041-Arenal_Volcano_Hot_Springs.html#
Northern Australia-Monkey Mia (Would be my 2nd dolphin experience)
http://www.discoverwest.com.au/western_australia/monkey_mia_dolphins.html
Kalbarri National Park, Australia (backpacking)
http://www.bioneural.net/2007/10/11/aussie-west-coast-by-camper/
The Blue Hole Reef in Belize
http://www.cayoespanto.com/scuba.html
Yosemite National Park, California
Verona, Italy
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
A Few Words of Complaint
I have a problem. Why do we let words define us? Words have so much power in society that it is frightening, and sickening. I have found, throughout my life, that words can be huge tools of oppression. People who are classifies under a particular word can be constrained by it, limited by it, discriminated against, and diminished because of it. It can even be a source of unnecessary pain and unhappiness that some good people just don't deserve (which is what has fueled my incredibly random post tonight).
Take marriage, for example; to society in general, doesn't a relationship mean more with the title of "marriage" attached to it? When a couple who is married "breaks up," even when there weren't any children involved, it is viewed as more significant because it was a marriage. A perfectly happy couple will be at odds with each other over the idea of marriage, and even the planning of marriage. Couples worry about what it means if they decide not to get married. Why? What for?
Now, I understand that people get married because they love each other and because they want to be "husband" and "wife," but aren't those just words too? (I'm not saying that all people get married as a status symbol, but I feel people, these days, have forgotten why they go through the trouble of being "married.") Marriage has been a status symbol since the days fathers sold their virgin daughters off to men for property, and a status symbol is not love. Marriage is a legally binding union between two people, but it doesn't mean that you loved each other any less before you got married, right? If it means so much, then why does society practically put a time constraint on when you do it, if it is so important?
I define my decisions, my relationships, and my life by my own definitions, my own standards, and own rules, but that doesn't mean that I'm not tormented by other's perceptions of those decisions, especially when my decisions are perceived negatively by those I love. I could understand the argument, that marriage implies that a couple is mature and stable, but these days that isn't always the case, is it? How many marriages end in divorce, and how many babies were born last year alone to "single" parents? A boat load!!! So, how can we define marriage by the same standards anymore? We are even afraid of the institution of marriage losing its social status and significance because gay people want to get married. (I don't know any other reason for people disagreeing with it, so that is what I chalk it up to, you can disagree with me.) Once again, WHO CARES?!?! If I get married, it doesn't mean anything less just because two guys or two girls go get married! So, what's the big deal?
When I start to question the society we live in, I'm reminded of symbolic interactionism. Symbolic interactionism is an approach (founded by George Herbert Mead, although a lot of credit also goes to Blumer for the interactionist approach-fyi) that says that our society is a reflection of the meaning we assign to words through our interaction with each other. This means, that it is our collective faults! There are words and symbols used in our society that unjustly classify people, and we did it to ourselves, or at least the majority did. Why do we limit ourselves to the careless use of words and symbols? Why do we think things are as simple as we see them? I hate using the word "we," because I certainly don't try to fit into the category of narrow-minded people with whom I am referring, and all people are certainly not like this. I say "we" because I am simply disgusted with people (and there seems to be a lot of them) who refuse to look beyond a first impression, or an outer appearance, and I'm sick of people who look at status! Get over yourself!!! If you can't stand on your own two feet in your life without knocking someone else down than you deserve to fall! I haven't met a single person in my life that wasn't worth meeting no matter what color their skin was or how much money they had. I have found that there is something to learn from every person I meet. People are not always what your first instinct tells you, and they are not as generic as a first impression. They are people; whether they have brown skin, white skin, speak a different language, or dress different than we do.
The same goes with concerns some have with people coming to this country-we call them "illegals," or "illegal aliens." This implies meaning (seriously damaging meaning for many). It implies that they are criminals. They may be breaking a law, but I've broken laws; I've run stop signs, stolen a towel from a hotel, and I've probably trespassed into someones yard at some point in my life, but do those things qualify me as an "illegal?" My crimes were far less justifiable than escaping my home country to better the lives of my family members. How can you blame them? I can't. I admire them. They, to me, are not drug dealers, and criminals, or lazy workers, they are families, and fathers, trying to provide a life for their loved ones. That isn't to say that there aren't bad people in the world, but the bad people are of all different colors, some rich, some poor, some young, some old, etc.
The guilty person is the someone that is out there generalizing and classifying good people to death; and for what purpose? I'm betting it has to do with status, but I wont even get into it because I'll be at my computer all night, and I have to make dinner. I guess my rant is all about the fact that people are people, and they don't always fit so easily into a title, a word, or symbol. People can be single, married, gay, straight, and they can certainly be different from you or me. They can have different beliefs and values, but does that make them any worse or any better? Isn't there more to it than just the words we hold people under? Aren't we all people? Just do me one favor, for me, judge people you know, not those you don't. We are all people, doing what we know to survive this life we were given. Can't we learn to think less categorically and more humanely?
Take marriage, for example; to society in general, doesn't a relationship mean more with the title of "marriage" attached to it? When a couple who is married "breaks up," even when there weren't any children involved, it is viewed as more significant because it was a marriage. A perfectly happy couple will be at odds with each other over the idea of marriage, and even the planning of marriage. Couples worry about what it means if they decide not to get married. Why? What for?
Now, I understand that people get married because they love each other and because they want to be "husband" and "wife," but aren't those just words too? (I'm not saying that all people get married as a status symbol, but I feel people, these days, have forgotten why they go through the trouble of being "married.") Marriage has been a status symbol since the days fathers sold their virgin daughters off to men for property, and a status symbol is not love. Marriage is a legally binding union between two people, but it doesn't mean that you loved each other any less before you got married, right? If it means so much, then why does society practically put a time constraint on when you do it, if it is so important?
I define my decisions, my relationships, and my life by my own definitions, my own standards, and own rules, but that doesn't mean that I'm not tormented by other's perceptions of those decisions, especially when my decisions are perceived negatively by those I love. I could understand the argument, that marriage implies that a couple is mature and stable, but these days that isn't always the case, is it? How many marriages end in divorce, and how many babies were born last year alone to "single" parents? A boat load!!! So, how can we define marriage by the same standards anymore? We are even afraid of the institution of marriage losing its social status and significance because gay people want to get married. (I don't know any other reason for people disagreeing with it, so that is what I chalk it up to, you can disagree with me.) Once again, WHO CARES?!?! If I get married, it doesn't mean anything less just because two guys or two girls go get married! So, what's the big deal?
When I start to question the society we live in, I'm reminded of symbolic interactionism. Symbolic interactionism is an approach (founded by George Herbert Mead, although a lot of credit also goes to Blumer for the interactionist approach-fyi) that says that our society is a reflection of the meaning we assign to words through our interaction with each other. This means, that it is our collective faults! There are words and symbols used in our society that unjustly classify people, and we did it to ourselves, or at least the majority did. Why do we limit ourselves to the careless use of words and symbols? Why do we think things are as simple as we see them? I hate using the word "we," because I certainly don't try to fit into the category of narrow-minded people with whom I am referring, and all people are certainly not like this. I say "we" because I am simply disgusted with people (and there seems to be a lot of them) who refuse to look beyond a first impression, or an outer appearance, and I'm sick of people who look at status! Get over yourself!!! If you can't stand on your own two feet in your life without knocking someone else down than you deserve to fall! I haven't met a single person in my life that wasn't worth meeting no matter what color their skin was or how much money they had. I have found that there is something to learn from every person I meet. People are not always what your first instinct tells you, and they are not as generic as a first impression. They are people; whether they have brown skin, white skin, speak a different language, or dress different than we do.
The same goes with concerns some have with people coming to this country-we call them "illegals," or "illegal aliens." This implies meaning (seriously damaging meaning for many). It implies that they are criminals. They may be breaking a law, but I've broken laws; I've run stop signs, stolen a towel from a hotel, and I've probably trespassed into someones yard at some point in my life, but do those things qualify me as an "illegal?" My crimes were far less justifiable than escaping my home country to better the lives of my family members. How can you blame them? I can't. I admire them. They, to me, are not drug dealers, and criminals, or lazy workers, they are families, and fathers, trying to provide a life for their loved ones. That isn't to say that there aren't bad people in the world, but the bad people are of all different colors, some rich, some poor, some young, some old, etc.
The guilty person is the someone that is out there generalizing and classifying good people to death; and for what purpose? I'm betting it has to do with status, but I wont even get into it because I'll be at my computer all night, and I have to make dinner. I guess my rant is all about the fact that people are people, and they don't always fit so easily into a title, a word, or symbol. People can be single, married, gay, straight, and they can certainly be different from you or me. They can have different beliefs and values, but does that make them any worse or any better? Isn't there more to it than just the words we hold people under? Aren't we all people? Just do me one favor, for me, judge people you know, not those you don't. We are all people, doing what we know to survive this life we were given. Can't we learn to think less categorically and more humanely?
Friday, October 16, 2009
Digging into my Framework-Another Perspective
http://www.case.edu/president/aaction/UnpackingTheKnapsack.pdf
If you are up to the challenge, read this article on "White Privelge." It is not meant to offend anyone, just to get you thinking about another perspective. I thought that this, being one of my favorite articles I have read since being in college, might be of interest to others. It changed how I see things around me. It altered how I see the differences in those around me. It made me question what I learned in high school. It made me want to be a more independent thinker as opposed to regergetating recycled media. It made me want to learn what life is objectively, which isn't easy to do. It made me realize how ignorant I had been in my life, for the first time in my life. You don't have to agree with it either, but if it makes you think than it is worth reading, right?
If you are up to the challenge, read this article on "White Privelge." It is not meant to offend anyone, just to get you thinking about another perspective. I thought that this, being one of my favorite articles I have read since being in college, might be of interest to others. It changed how I see things around me. It altered how I see the differences in those around me. It made me question what I learned in high school. It made me want to be a more independent thinker as opposed to regergetating recycled media. It made me want to learn what life is objectively, which isn't easy to do. It made me realize how ignorant I had been in my life, for the first time in my life. You don't have to agree with it either, but if it makes you think than it is worth reading, right?
Thoughts and Questions
I have never been the type of person to care whatsoever about what people think of me, or whether they like me, or not. That was until I became something; a mother. Now that I am a mom I feel like I should keep my manners in check, not be too outspoken, controversial or confrontational. I can't even be rude to people who are rude to me. What about motherhood put a muzzle on me? I have been trying to figure it out and am still not quite sure. Some of my "mom friends" have had the same problem. My "old friends," a.k.a. friends without children (who I speak to regularly), are still, after two years of me having a child, perplexed by how taming motherhood has been on me. What was so great about my spicy comebacks anyways? It wasn't always the sweetest or classiest part of my personality anyways.
I think what fell off was the drama, and the need to put my two cents in. I have no desire these days to let people or things bother me. I have more significant things to worry about now. I want life to be as amazing as it can possibly be for my family so that means I can't sweat the small stuff (a saying I absolutely hate).
Today, to give you a little background, I can balance just as much as I did pre-baby and not a lot of moms can say that. The love of my life thinks I'm exceptional. He and I never planned to have me be a stay at home mom (wont last in this economy though unfortunately), but we have managed to keep me home for two years (not without some sacrifices mind you). I am a domestic diva. Once about fashion and high maintenance mumbo jumbo, and now I clean, cook, change diapers, and manage the finances of my household. I am a mommy machine. Soooo, when did I lose my wit and fire?
It was "sassy cassie" my whole life, and now its "mommy." I love my life, although I am still investigating whether it is a good or bad thing that I've lost my spunk. I still feel like me, only better, so is there even a problem?. Why does it plague me so much that my "old girlfriends" are so weirded out by the change in me? Maybe I just don't want to feel like I've lost any part of what made us friends, more than friends, like sister. I still love them the same, with or without children.
Here are my thoughts on why they think of me the way they do: They (the "old girlfriends") live 1350 miles away and only see me 2-3 times a year, I became a mom after I moved to Idaho, I was a work-a-holic before I lived here, and my life appeared to run on chaos, not organization.
Here is where they are wrong: I don't care how feisty you are, every girl wants to find their soul mate, I found mine, and motherhood was the natural next step. When I lived back in Minnesota I worked 60 hours a week while taking 15 credits at the U of Mn and still managed to be a social girl. I have always been able to juggle my life well, that I know for sure. What seemed hectic, and always chaotic to them, was just me doing what I do. It prepared me well for life as a mom, that's for sure. So, now what I question is their perspective on life versus how they look at me.
What I was doing was setting myself up for success. I was getting an education, doing volunteer work in SE Minneapolis, working my crazy job, making enough money to go to school, and staying busy until my life began. Isn't that what we all do? We do what society tells us we should do until we start making our own a grander plan for our life. Don't we all finish high school, go to college, work a hundred jobs to pay our rent, and hope that during all of that we meet the right person and settle down? Isn't that the general plan?
I think the problem is that with all of my success as a single, carefree person my girlfriends never expected me to settle down and give it all up. What the "old friends" don't seem to know is that it is sooooo worth it! I didn't give up anything that could compete for even one second with what I have now. I never saw myself as a mom, especially a stay at home mom, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Whatever they think I've lost, I shouldn't feel like it was a part of any identity I need to worry about, it was just the part of me that was fighting to get to where I am now. I can't wait until they get here too.
Don't you always wish you could pass your wisdom onto a friend, or a little brother or sister? If they only knew what I know. Soul mates exist, people change, and happiness is waiting for you when you're ready to reach out and grab it, so set yourself up for happiness. Accept it and embrace it! Whatever you lose will not compare to what you will gain. Just my thoughts on the changes we experience in life.
I think what fell off was the drama, and the need to put my two cents in. I have no desire these days to let people or things bother me. I have more significant things to worry about now. I want life to be as amazing as it can possibly be for my family so that means I can't sweat the small stuff (a saying I absolutely hate).
Today, to give you a little background, I can balance just as much as I did pre-baby and not a lot of moms can say that. The love of my life thinks I'm exceptional. He and I never planned to have me be a stay at home mom (wont last in this economy though unfortunately), but we have managed to keep me home for two years (not without some sacrifices mind you). I am a domestic diva. Once about fashion and high maintenance mumbo jumbo, and now I clean, cook, change diapers, and manage the finances of my household. I am a mommy machine. Soooo, when did I lose my wit and fire?
It was "sassy cassie" my whole life, and now its "mommy." I love my life, although I am still investigating whether it is a good or bad thing that I've lost my spunk. I still feel like me, only better, so is there even a problem?. Why does it plague me so much that my "old girlfriends" are so weirded out by the change in me? Maybe I just don't want to feel like I've lost any part of what made us friends, more than friends, like sister. I still love them the same, with or without children.
Here are my thoughts on why they think of me the way they do: They (the "old girlfriends") live 1350 miles away and only see me 2-3 times a year, I became a mom after I moved to Idaho, I was a work-a-holic before I lived here, and my life appeared to run on chaos, not organization.
Here is where they are wrong: I don't care how feisty you are, every girl wants to find their soul mate, I found mine, and motherhood was the natural next step. When I lived back in Minnesota I worked 60 hours a week while taking 15 credits at the U of Mn and still managed to be a social girl. I have always been able to juggle my life well, that I know for sure. What seemed hectic, and always chaotic to them, was just me doing what I do. It prepared me well for life as a mom, that's for sure. So, now what I question is their perspective on life versus how they look at me.
What I was doing was setting myself up for success. I was getting an education, doing volunteer work in SE Minneapolis, working my crazy job, making enough money to go to school, and staying busy until my life began. Isn't that what we all do? We do what society tells us we should do until we start making our own a grander plan for our life. Don't we all finish high school, go to college, work a hundred jobs to pay our rent, and hope that during all of that we meet the right person and settle down? Isn't that the general plan?
I think the problem is that with all of my success as a single, carefree person my girlfriends never expected me to settle down and give it all up. What the "old friends" don't seem to know is that it is sooooo worth it! I didn't give up anything that could compete for even one second with what I have now. I never saw myself as a mom, especially a stay at home mom, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Whatever they think I've lost, I shouldn't feel like it was a part of any identity I need to worry about, it was just the part of me that was fighting to get to where I am now. I can't wait until they get here too.
Don't you always wish you could pass your wisdom onto a friend, or a little brother or sister? If they only knew what I know. Soul mates exist, people change, and happiness is waiting for you when you're ready to reach out and grab it, so set yourself up for happiness. Accept it and embrace it! Whatever you lose will not compare to what you will gain. Just my thoughts on the changes we experience in life.
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